My favorite fragrance outpost


One of my favorite candle/lotion/bodywash depots is based right here in Minneapolis. The company, called Thymes, has got my olfactory glands all aflame and delighted! And what’s really unique about Thymes is that you can sample all of their scents for 7 bucks! Which, obviously, helps you figure out which scents are for you without having to sniff your way to a headache in a store.

As a young gentleman (yes, I’m a dude! and yes I’m still young!), I tend to be drawn to more masculine scents– not that I haven’t been known to rock a spicy floral or soft coral musk– so it’s helpful to be able to test drive a fragrance. Having said that, there are a couple of masculine scents that I have fallen in love with. And, even though I’m pretty sure most of my readership is women (hi ladies!), here are my choices for all you dudes and bros out there:

1. Lotus Santal– This scent is my absolute favorite. It’s a delicious woodsy, musky, a splash of spicy, a tinkle of cocoa, creamy, masculine fragrance. I’ve tried the lotion, the body wash, the room spray, and the candle. All of these fill me with spectacular joy. Men, give me your dudebro-word that you’ll try this scent. Your ladies will eat you up (oh that’s graphic).

2. Aqua Coralline– Oh shit, this scent is fresh. It’s crisp and cool. It’s like a summer day on crack. So full of life (minus the withdrawals)! Wear this and you’ll be invited to the vineyard, like immediately.

3. Jade Matcha– I love the name of this- it reminds me of a drag queen. In spite of the fabulous name, though, this scent has a tangy cool masculinity that brightens my mood. I’ve only tried the lotion, but the candle may be my next splurge.

4. Frasier Fir- Okay, so this one is probably most appropriate during the holidays, but I refuse to limit pine to the month of December. I discovered Thymes because of this candle, and now my home is full of Frasier Fir lotions, soaps, and even cleaning supplies. I’ve never smelled another scent that comes this close to matching an actual pine tree. I feel like a happy squirrel when using products from this collection. Guys, I promise you won’t smell like Pine Sol after lathering up with this one. Try it, you’ll like it. It’s butch. And will up your lumbersexual cred.

Okay, now ladies, Imma help you out. Here are my favorite feminine scents from Thymes:

1. Kimono Rose– This scent reminds me of someone, but I’m not sure who. All I know is that they are a badass. Someone who gets shit done. Perhaps Hillary Clinton wears this scent. Or Elizabeth Warren. Ultimately, Kimono Rose’s femininity is so powerful, you don’t even notice it. You know what I mean. Maybe.

2. Goldleaf– I understand that this is one of Thymes most popular scents. I totally get why- it’s classic and timeless, and it says “damn I’m a classy lady.” Beautiful and feminine, this one should be a staple in every woman’s arsenal.

3. Eucalyptus– This one will make you hungry for life. Or maybe just plain hungry. For snacks. But healthy snacks! Seriously, though, this scent is floral and earthy with a clean touch that will invigorate your senses! All of them!

4. Gingerbread– This comforting scent possesses both feminine and masculine qualities. It’s spicy and musky, but also soft with a touch of cinnamon and vanilla. I’m pretty sure it’s intended for the holiday season, but that won’t stop me from rolling around in it in May. I imagine it appeals to women more than men, but it’s every-gender to me! Ladies, your fellas will be licking this off your bosom. And guys, women will be dipping their face in your torso for this scent. And if your single, your dogs will be licking it off your hands every frickin time you put it on (seriously, stop that Nola!)!

Alright, now go and explore Thymes. Your olfactory glands will thank you.

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