Coveting thy neighbor Tuesdays!


If there’s one thing I’m really good at, it’s coveting thy neighbors’ stuff. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love my apartment, but there’s nothing wrong with looking at other spaces. After all, we’re just renting this place– I don’t see no ring on my apartment’s finger! I’m not dead, you know! I’m just looking! Get off my back, Waterlily (that’s what I call my apartment sometimes)!

So what sexy place am I coveting this week? Well, hubba hubba, look at this beauty:

Now this home isn’t exactly a neighbor– it’s in Queensland, Australia– but after surviving my first Minnesota winter, its beachiness is calling my name. Look at that damn pool… it’s got its own beach! With real sand! The plants are fake, but who cares? You can pay people to pretend they’re real!

Besides the pool, I’m really coveting the ultramodern design of the home. Okay, I’m not totally crazy about the couch and chairs in the living room, but the floor plan is exquisite (which is a word I hardly use because it’s hard to spell!). The upper level of the home is crafted in a way that resembles a boat–  like a big boat. A big juicy boat. I’ll bet you feel like you’re on a yacht when you’re hanging out at that bar. In fact, I’m pretty sure I see P-Diddy pouring some Ciroc on a twerkin’ Khloe Kardashian in the reflection of a window! What a refreshing sight! I can smell the baby oil from here! Rich people like to get oiled up. Sorry, I just deliver the facts.

With their sexy ceiling features, the dining room and bathroom are also covet worthy. I mean, anything is better than popcorn ceilings, but I’m a huge fan of utilizing a space that is so often neglected. Plus, I love stars– I’d live in a planetarium if it wasn’t for all the gross middle schoolers on field trips who frequent them. I was a teenager once, I know how disgusting they are. Ms. Nola’s street paws smell better than a 13 year old boy.

Anywhosie, that’s what I’m coveting this week! Are there any beach houses that make you gag (in a good RuPaul kind of way)? What do you like most about this home? Tell me!

See you at the beaches, bitches!


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